Daily Zoot - 6/1/09 - NBA Finals Pre-Zoot

The Daily Zoot is all the news you needed yesterday, soon

I hope everyone enjoyed their Themsports vacation, but I know you missed reading that Sports Comedyommentary just like I missed making it. Well, we're back and, as always, we mean business. Lets get right down to it. 

- You can call me selfish if you want but I'm thrilled that the NBA finals didn't come down to Kobe v. Lebron like everyone else thought it should have. If I have to be miserable, I want Vitamin Water and Nike to be there right along with me. So we got our finals and I think it disappoints everyone but me. Dwight Howard led his Magic team over the Cleveland Lebrons in the Eastern Finals, and now faces those Purple Jerks from Los Angeles (its going to be hard for my to hide my distain to the Lakers in this and any subsequent Zoots, so bear with me) The Finals start this Thursday, and as far as I'm concerned it comes down to three key match-ups: 

-Dwight Howard v. Andrew Bynum

This is the match-up that leads me to ultimately *spoiler Alert* pick the Magic to win this series. Andrew Bynum has shown occasional flashes of brilliance; unfortunately most of those flashes have come in a pan. Now he's gotta stop the cartoonishly proportioned (He needs to go to a team whose name is along enough to get across his chest, has anyone ever had that problem before?) Dwight Howard. Dwight hung huge numbers on the Cavs big men, and opened up that series for the rest of the players on his team. The Lakers big men are the skim milk equivalent of the Cavs Big men. Andrew Bynum is going to get smoked in this matchup, for sure, but the success of the Lakers depends on how badly he gets burned. If he can keep it at a light pan-searing they got a chance, but I think he's gonna get flame-broiled. Advantage Magic - In a big way.

-Rashard Lewis v. Pau Gasol 

Its hard to call this match-up because they play two completely different styles. Rashard Lewis is 6'10"and plays like he's 6'4" (in a good way I guess). Pau Gasol is 7'0" and plays like a 12-year-old girl who is uncomfortable because its her first day in a training bra. He doesn't love contact, and seems extremely self-conscience when anyone touches him on the back. Pau likes playing in the post, but I don't think he's tough enough to force rashard into guarding him there. I'm pretty sure one well-placed shove to the back will have him looking over his shoulder for the next 7 months, let alone games. And he definitely doesn't have the lateral quickness to guard Rashard on the perimeter (think water running down a pane of glass, then think pancake batter on the same surface). Advantage - Could go either way, they're both great players, but I'll take Rashard.

-Courtney Lee v. Kobe Bryant

Courtney is not going to win this match-up, basketball wise. Kobe is one of the best players on the planet, and CLee is just a rook. Kobe will get his (and thats his favorite kind of game by the way), but Courtney can go a long way in deciding this series if he can get under Kobe's skin. I give it 3 minutes before Kobe throws a pass that doesn't get caught and we get to see that "I would kill you if there weren't 20,000 people around me judging my abilities as a teammate and leader" look that he so frequently loves to flash Pau and Andrew. Kobe has been in the league since he was 18, almost 14 years now, and we're still waiting for him to mature as a leader; newborn puppies learn faster. If I'm Courtney (and I'm glad I'm not; Jordan is only a girls name half the time) I'm using every chance I get to try and make Kobe mad at his teammates, "Its almost like your teammates aren't as talented as you...you should hold that against them." Courtney can't stop Kobe on the court, but he can certainly try and derail the Laker Locker Room. Advantage - Lakers on Court, Magic in head.

I think the Magic have shown how tough they are in these playoffs too tough after they knocking out the defending champs, and the MVP in the last two series. Most of all, I don't think they're afraid of Kobe; it can't be worse than playing Lebron and three referees? Kobe will get his, but nobodoy else in Purple will. Give the Magic in 6.