-Few times in the life of a journalist do they uncover a truly perfect news story; in fact they might never get that chance. Now that definition of perfection varies from reporter to reporter (One man's trash, and so on). When it comes to what I like to write about, I love that trash. I'm like the garbage man, I can't get enough of the stuff. That's what makes the Shawne Merriman and Tila Tequila story so perfect (to me).First of all it involves a controversial athlete. After becoming a superstar so quickly with the Chargers, Merriman has had some trouble the last few years including a serious injury, and a positive test for steroids. He's a popular target of criticism because of his attitude and style. He's an abrasive character, and he rubs a lot of people the wrong way. That means something important in this instance. When a sandpaper athlete like this gets in trouble, there is no remorse or even a slight delay in vilifying him. Which means that those covering him will immediately be able to jump to conclusions. If Tom Brady might have potentially hit Giselle, we might give him the benefit of the doubt until the facts are sorted out. Not with Shawne, we can go right for the jugular with this one.
Now there is only so trashy a sports story can get on its own. Shawne Merriman allegedly abusing a girlfriend would be kind of grimy in its own right, but bringing in Tila Tequila to play the role of abused girlfriend is a stroke of junk story genius. Tila was the host of a bi-sexual dating show on MTV called Shot at Love. The aim of the show was for her to find love amongst a group of 30 people, half male and half female. Critics claimed she wasn't actually interested in any of the females, and that she only included them so that they could market her making out with the other girls (Not a single one of those critics was male). She wore a bikini during 90% of the taping, and the other ten was just because she had taken her top off. Real class act this one. I watched the show, I'm man enough (or not enough) to admit that. I loved every minute of it, and I think that does nothing but prove the love I claimed earlier for the trashiest of the trash.
I wasn't even aware that the two had been dating, and the surprise of that fact alone made this story tickle me. The actual facts of what happened still remain to be seen. Tila claims that Merriman choked and restrained her, while Shawne claims that Tequila was trying to drive drunk and he did all he had to to prevent her. Either way, Tequila made a citizens arrest of Merriman, which really speaks of how easy it is to make a citizens arrest. Can you imagine Tequila trying to take down Merriman? He could wear her like one of those foxes wealthy old women used to wear back when that kind of thing was popular (widely known as the time of the monacle). Merriman was then arrested, because that is the policy after a citizen's arrest, not necessarily because he was found of any wrong-doing by the police officers that responded. He paid his bail, and was back out on the practice field Monday.
When I first encounter stories like this, I react to them in stages. My growing reaction depends on how the different parts add up, and the large picture they ultimately end up painting. This particular one went like this:
Shawne Merriman,
Great Start: he went to Maryland, I go to Maryland. Also, He can kinda be a jerk, I like where this is headed.
has been arrested for abusing his girlfriend,
Well I hate to see a girl get hurt, but I do love these kinds of stories.
MTV Star Tila Tequila
Orgasm
This story will play itself out over the next couple weeks, and I will try and soak it up as much as I can before it disappears. Lord knows when I'll get the next opportunity to cover such a perfect story, if ever. There is one burning question that comes from this story that I have yet to see covered:
That makes Tila single again right? Does that mean I can start getting excited for Shot at Love 3?
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Stoked for Season 3, I'm applying.
ReplyDeleteCareful! As the unoffical THEM SPORTS legal counsel, I suggest you follow the advice and cautionary practices of that great legal scholar and philopspher, Clifford Franklin, who famously said:
ReplyDelete"What I had meant to say was ''allegedly'' allegedly beat up them cops and because a good Christian boy like you would never do nothing like that!"
wow, lights out linebacker and the black out bitch gettin it on. He weighs at least three times her weight. Does that mean she's open to 270 lb guys who arn't afraid to get rough? Call me Tila!
ReplyDeleteDear anonymous 7:41. Chicks don't dig guys in reinsurance.
ReplyDelete