Don't look now, but this coming weekend might be one of the best sports weekends out of the entire year. I say that with all due respect to the Super Bowl and all its pomp and circumstance; which not only crowned the under-dog everyone was rooting for, but was also as good of a game as anybody could hope for. If you're still buried under about 3 feet of snow like I and everyone else in the mid-Atlantic is, than this weekend will make sitting on your couch for 40-50 straight hours slightly more tolerable than it has been so far this week. Stretch those flipping thumbs out and check out this schedule:
Winter Olympics:
Let me preface this entire section by acknowledging that nobody really cares about the Winter Olympics, or as I like to call it, the Olympic's Dollar Menu. It has a few events that are interesting, but for the most part its sports that we are not familiar with, let alone passionate about. NBA makes Figure Skating their flagship competition, and that immediately alienates half of their viewership, and "Be Good Johnny Weir" isn't helping. In some ways, I kind of even feel bad for Curling; it has come to completely represent the Winter Olympics, and that is an unfair comparison for the sport, and the games. Having said all of that bad stuff, the Opening Ceremonies are still engaging, and they start Friday. It will be your opportunity to enjoy the Winter Olympics before the competition starts and you rememeber how bad the Winter Olympics are. I personally don't watch the Winter Olympics that much. I usually just watch the Ceremonies, then at some point in the next two weeks I have this 5 minute exchange with my television.
-Flipping through the channels I see the Winter Olympics are on, and they are covering Bobsledding. I briefly remember Cool Runnings and how much I like that movie, then I wait to see if the next team that is going to race is the Jamaican one while I sing, "We got the one Derice and the one Junior, the fastest of the fastest of Jamaican sprinters..." - which of course it never is. I give the Olympics one, maybe two more runs to produce the Jamaican team, and when they refuse I decide to just put the movie on instead.
That is the only roughly 270 seconds I will spend watching the Winter Olympiad, save for of course the Opening Ceremony. At the very least, its something worth having on mute while you're at a party or with a group of people. Its a conversation piece basically, but still worth watching.
All-Star Weekend:
The NBA goes on vacation to Dallas this weekend for its annual All-Star festivities, which now has more events and competitions than the aforementioned Olympics. There's the (ranked in order of how much I care about them)
Legend's Three Ball Competition: One legendary player, teams up with no greater from the third best player currently playing from the team they used to play for, and a WNBA player who plays in the same city, team up to play a game that makes no sense and doesn't matter. Its basically an excuse to make fun of old men who can't really play anymore. They retired for a reason, yet we keep dragging them back just to see how fat they've gotten, and how broke their jump-shot is. I have no reason why we do this.
Celebrity Game: A pick up game made up of B-list celebrities and athletes trying to piss of their team's owner. I guarantee you say, "O wow, Whats his face - I could have sworn he died" at least three times in this game. Only silver lining is TO returning to Dallas, hopefully he does something that sparks some sort of small riot.
HORSE Game: I'm not going to explain this because I know you all grew up in America and have an extensive history playing HORSE. Israeli's first NBAer Omri Casspi, will face my personal hero Rajon Rondo (pronounced entirely in falsetto) and defending champ Kevin Durant. It could be interesting, as Paupl Pierce has said that Rondo is the best player he's ever played HORse against, ever since Rondo was a rookie. Apparently he can spin shots off the backboard like no one else can, so tht something to look out for I guess. And the Durantula (Just heard it on Sportscenter, kinda like it, taking it for a walk to see how it feels) is always worth watching)
Rookie-Sophomore Game:
You know how there is no defense in the actual all-star game? Well this is an all-star game featuring players who haven't even learned to play defense yet. It's almost exclusively Alley-Oop Dunks and Threes. Luckily, we like that kind of thing.
3-point contest:
Would be better if it was actually an indication of who is the best shooter, not just who is the hottest that particular night. Last year's champ Daquan Cook is shooting 31% from behind the arc this year. It also favors guys with a fast release. Paul Pierce is shooting 47% from beyond this year, but he has virtually no shot to win this competition because of his pace and mechanics. Its pretty entertaining, but its like the Kid's Choice awards for Shooters, it doesn't really mean anything.
Dunk Contest
This should be at the top of the list, but it has become to watered down over the last decade or so. I find it shocking that Lebron will go through his career never having participated in a dunk contest. I would have expected someone who is so well-versed in the history of the game to understnad how important it was in building the legends of Michael Thompson, Dr. J, 'Niquw, Michael, and more recently Kobe and Vinsanity. No one of note is participating in the contest this year. There are some good dunkers in the competition, but the best the contest needs to be between stars, not rising stars. It's just a shame no one wants to participate anymore. I'm calling Demar Derozan to win it all the way from Friday's Dunk In; book it. That man can fly, I know from experience - I'm the guy with the white button down standing under the hoop with his arms crossed: true story.)
All-Star Game
Like I said before, the All-star game is a no defense display of dunks, but isn't that why we watch? A lot of people are critical of the all-star game because they want the players to take it more seriously - usually they just showboat until there are about 6 minutes left, then they play for the win. But I think this is how the game should be, an unbridled display of offense. It's like Ms. America, but the whole thing is the swimsuit competition. Exciting plays is why we watch, so why not make the whole game one big highlight? Either way, that's what it is, and if you like basketball, it is definitely worth watching. In continuing to toot Rondo's horn, he's the type of player who can steal the show in an all-star game. If he gets the playing time, he'll have double digit assists, and a chance at MVP.
When you add all of that with a full slate of College Basketball games, its almost too much handle - or the perfect amount if you cancel everything else you have scheduled. There's enough good sports on, that if you're proficient enough at flipping you won't have to sit through a commercial break all weekend.
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