-I waited just about as long as possible before admitting that the Celtics-Bulls first round series was the best playoff series ever. It was clear that it was, I just didn't want to give in to it; I used the twenty-year conservative denial of global warming as inspiration (Note that the article is from only a few weeks ago; their commitment to this lie is remarkable). Save for a Boston blowout in game 3 each of the first five games of the series were instant classics. I still said that it couldn't be the best... but game 6 was my Al Gore slideshow. Game six went into 3 OT's and had more big moments than a giant clock. Ray Allen had 51 points, and that night even Christian Fundamentalists had no qualms in calling him Jesus. The Bulls prevailed in that one thanks to the heroics of Joakim Noah, who hair-wise looks like the son of Carrot Top and Macy Gray (by the way, how many songs could possibly be on "the very best of Macy Gray?" Can it really be more than just that one? "Best" is an extremely relative term in that situation, and I'm not sure "Very" even applies). Game 7 was really really good - if you are a Celtics fan. It was only pretty good if you aren't.
But Whatever, the last episode of Seinfeld wasn't that great either, and you might as well leave the third Godfather out of the box-set; but we still love the rest of those series. Think for a second about the 5 amazing games the teams did play this series; games 1, 2, 4, 5, and 6. The margins of victory in those games were 2, 3, 3, 2, and 1 respectively. 4 of those games went into overtime, which is a record for any single series. They went through 7 total overtime periods; no team in history had done that in an entire playoff run let alone one series. I watched game 6 in a bar in Washington DC, hundreds of miles from either Boston or Chicago. Every single television set had the game on. In the second and third overtime, it was all that people were talking about. I even heard somebody (probably me) say, I wish all those (now what's a nice way to say slutty? How about... inconsistently dressed? Yeah, that'll play) women dancing on the bar would move, I can't see Glenn "Big Baby" Davis.
This series was so exciting that Celtics GM Danny Ainge had a heart attack before it even started. I almost joined him multiple times; when Ray Allen made that go-ahed three pointer over said circus freak in game 2, I remember thinking to myself "Boy, I don't remember the playoffs tasting so much like copper last year." - And I'm still doing most of the typing for this Zoot with my right arm as I await the return of feeling to the appendages on the left side of my body.
There's no two ways about it, this was absolutely the best and probably most-draining series of all time; but there is no rest for the weary. Boston moves on to face Orlando, and their cartoonishly built Center Dwight Howard, Game 1 is tonight. So if you'll excuse me I need to go buy some Bayer Aspirin and make sure I have the number for 911 written down somewhere - just in case.
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Noah looks like a damn rat
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