VOD - Rondissimo

I apologize, but my video download thingy isn't working, but you can just follow this link to check it out. 

You know how I feel about Rondo... When he soared in for this dunk, my heart was all a-flutter. 

Daily Zoot - 5/6/09 - The Inevitable Zoot

The Daily Zoot is all the news you needed yesterday, soon

-Are you going to sit there and honestly try to tell me that you didn't see this one coming? This one never fails. They would set the trains by this one if anyone rode trains anymore. Brett Favre will be meeting later this week with Vikings coach Brad Childress about maybe playing a little quarterback for the Purple People Eaters. 

Two years ago Brett Favre handcuffed the Green Bay Packers by taking months to decide if he was going to come back. Dude couldn't decide if he still had the passion for the game, the physical ability to succeed, or the aptitude to be a successful quarterback, and that was 2 years ago! Then last year he retired, check that, didn't retire, forced his way out of Green Bay and onto the Jets (Jets Fans rejoiced). They started 8-3, but Favre threw 2 TDs to 9 INTs down the stretch and the Jets ended up missing the playoffs. He retired again this year, and the Jets recently released him (Jets fans rejoiced)

At this point, Favre is 39 years old, and is recovering from a torn biceps tendon. Here's a list of funny things that I think have more structural integrity than Brett Favre's arm:

-Ron Artest's composure

-Chris Brown and Rhianna's relationship

-Bubbles

-Carlos Mencia's sense of humor

-Soft Serve Ice Cream. Very Hot Day. Hot Fudge. No Sprinkles.

-Brett Favre's word

If Favre wants to play, thats fine. I have no problem with that. Just please hurry it up and decide so we can all get on with our lives. I'm going to boycott Brett Favre on the Zoot until he gets out of our faces.

O I thought of another one:

-The end of a shoelace when the little plastic thing has fallen off. Admit it, that is spot on.

VOD - Television Awareness Day

This is a preview for the new NBC show "Community." Its got Joel Mchale from "the Soup" in it (good). Its made by the same people that made "Arrested Development" (Better). And its got a sexually inappropriate Chevy Chase (sold)

Daily Zoot - 5/5/09 - Truncated Zoot

The Daily Zoot is all the news you needed to know yesterday, soon

Finals Week=Shorter Zoots

Write that down

-That little white circle in the back is not a small moon orbiting Johnny Damon, thats the baseball; he didn't make that catch. As a matter of fact, very players in pinstripes made catches last night. the Yankees lost to the Red Sox 6-4 last night at a rain drenched Yankee Stadium. That's not even the foul line. That line signifies the threshold the Yankees are about to cross. Between their new billion-dollar stadium, and over-payed under-achieving offseason acquisitions, the Yankees are about to cross the line into full-fledged disappointment-ism. Actually, as you can see, they're sliding head first across that line. The Yankees have played 4 games against the Red Sox this season and they've won as many as you have (assuming none of you are Vlad Guerrero) The Yankees spent nearly 2 billion dollars this offseason, yet they haven't gotten 5 dollars worth of good play. Their stadium is now a collection of restaurants more so than it is a ballpark (Unfortunately there's no sending CC back for being cold). 

VOD - Stick Save and A Beauty

From The Capitals-Penguins game 1. An incredible save by Caps goalie Simeon Varlamov on the Sid the Kid. 

I Think My Roommate Has Swine Flu

O my God What do I do? I'm trying to play Text twist and my roommate, who in the interest of public safety will remain named - Jimmy Cotterman, is hovering over me with what could possibly be the first confirmed case of Swine Flu at the University of Maryland. I want to tell him to go the Hospital, but I'm trying desperately not to breathe in his general direction.

Maybe I should do a little Swine Flu research, About.com counts as an academic journal right? O here we go, "Although the name 'swine flu' brings up a lot of extra fear and worry, it is important to note that swine flu is just an influenza A H1N1 virus." That's comforting, I guess calling it numbers and letters makes it less deadly than if it has a name. Apparently this new flu is just flu classic with a dash of Swine flu, and a sprinkling of Bird Flu in it. Doesn't that make it flying Pig Flu? That's even scarier. I only like my pigs and birds fraternizing on the dinner plate.

I'm going to play Dr. Zoot and see if I can diagnose him from that list of symptoms:

Fever: I don't have a thermometer but I think his bangs just got singed off. 

Cough: I've got evidence of that on my shoulder.

Runny Nose: He says his nostrils feel like the New York sewer system in Ghostbusters 2.

Body Aches: American Gladiator contestant-eque.

Headache: We might have to chalk that one up to a hangover, maybe swine hangover, but definitely not swine flu.

Chills: I'm gonna measure Chills in head bands gone through - 3. That's a lot for one morning right?

Fatigue: 

8:13 am - "I have an itch on my right leg"

10:42 am -  Jimmy scratches that itch

In my (expert) opinion, thats a clean sweep for Porky's team, my man Jimmy has swine flu. He's a goner, and I have to live with him. That means I get to start playing a game I like to call outrun the inevitable, time me!

Daily Zoot - 5/4/09 - Zoot Nostalgic

The Daily Zoot is all the news you needed yesterday, soon

-I waited just about as long as possible before admitting that the Celtics-Bulls first round series was the best playoff series ever. It was clear that it was, I just didn't want to give in to it; I used the twenty-year conservative denial of global warming as inspiration (Note that the article is from only a few weeks ago; their commitment to this lie is remarkable). Save for a Boston blowout in game 3 each of the first five games of the series were instant classics. I still said that it couldn't be the best... but game 6 was my Al Gore slideshow. Game six went into 3 OT's and had more big moments than a giant clock. Ray Allen had 51 points, and that night even Christian Fundamentalists had no qualms in calling him Jesus. The Bulls prevailed in that one thanks to the heroics of Joakim Noah, who hair-wise looks like the son of Carrot Top and Macy Gray (by the way, how many songs could possibly be on "the very best of Macy Gray?" Can it really be more than just that one? "Best" is an extremely relative term in that situation, and I'm not sure "Very" even applies). Game 7 was really really good - if you are a Celtics fan. It was only pretty good if you aren't. 

But Whatever, the last episode of Seinfeld wasn't that great either, and you might as well leave the third Godfather out of the box-set; but we still love the rest of those series. Think for a second about the 5 amazing games the teams did play this series; games 1, 2, 4, 5, and 6. The margins of victory in those games were 2, 3, 3, 2, and 1 respectively. 4 of those games went into overtime, which is a record for any single series. They went through 7 total overtime periods; no team in history had done that in an entire playoff run let alone one series. I watched game 6 in a bar in Washington DC, hundreds of miles from either Boston or Chicago. Every single television set had the game on. In the second and third overtime, it was all that people were talking about. I even heard somebody (probably me) say, I wish all those (now what's a nice way to say slutty? How about... inconsistently dressed? Yeah, that'll play) women dancing on the bar would move, I can't see Glenn "Big Baby" Davis. 

This series was so exciting that Celtics GM Danny Ainge had a heart attack before it even started. I almost joined him multiple times; when Ray Allen made that go-ahed three pointer over said circus freak in game 2, I remember thinking to myself "Boy, I don't remember the playoffs tasting so much like copper last year." - And I'm still doing most of the typing for this Zoot with my right arm as I await the return of feeling to the appendages on the left side of my body. 

There's no two ways about it, this was absolutely the best and probably most-draining series of all time; but there is no rest for the weary. Boston moves on to face Orlando, and their cartoonishly built Center Dwight Howard, Game 1 is tonight.  So if you'll excuse me I need to go buy some Bayer Aspirin and make sure I have the number for 911 written down somewhere - just in case.

VOD - The Experiment

The Video is the entirety of the Manny Pacquiao v. Ricky Hatton title fight from Saturday night. Pacquiao  him and now is undoubtedly the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world. That brings us to The Experiment: We're gonna see if Them Sports is small enough to fly under the radar in showing this extremely copyrighted video in its entirety, or if we'll get sued by HBO for infringement... Wish Me Luck!