Daily Zoot - 4/8/09 - A Zoot Unlike any Other

The Daily Zoot is all the news you needed to know yesterday, soon

-This week the Masters returns, and with it meaning to my life. I didn't realize how much I loved the Master's until I noticed some of the ways that I behave differently this week:

 

-The voice of my inner monologue is replaced by Jim Nantz

-I can recognize, identify, and appreciate Azaleas.

-I find myself trying to rationalize the anti-semitism at Augusta National, "Well, we typically aren't very good golfers..."

Everything about the Masters is awesome; The Prize, the most prestigious trophy in golf, is something you would find in a pimp's closet (If Archbishop Don "Magic" Juan had a nickel for every time someone mistook him for a masters champion...). The song on the broadcast sounds like an angel with gold fingers playing on a piano made of love. And there aren't any women allowed (Holler at me Hootie). The best thing is that the whole is even better than the sum of its collective parts. The Masters is the jungle juice of golf tournaments, and I wish I could be drunk on it all year.

-I'm going to try and pick a winner because, well, I really enjoyed the lack of accountability that came with making bad tournament picks. It's a total win-draw situation. There are 96 competitors in the Masters, but when you pick a winner it comes down to one of two options; Tiger or the Field. Tiger hasn't won the Masters in four years, and this is only his fourth tournament since returning from knee surgery. But if I said to you, "100 boneskis; I'll take Tiger, you got the field" do you take that bet? Of course not (especially not in this economy when boneskis are more valuable than ever). Give me Tiger, at -8.

-Congratulations to the Lady Huskies of UConn (woot woot) who capped off a 39-0 season with a win against Louisville in last night's NCAA Championship game; reppin' that 860 (I think that's the first time reppin' has ever been used in the same sentence as a semicolon). They won by more than 34 ppg, and won every game by at least 10. They trailed only once in the second half this season, the first possession against Notre Dame. Usually you have to pay good money for domination like that (their safety word was Auriemma).