Glad You're Not Zach Randolph, Me Too

During last night's 140-100 walloping the Suns handed the Clippers, Zach Randolph once again demonstrated his unique ability to disappoint in the most surprising of ways. Late in the first quarter, the former Michigan State Spartan added to a long list of mishaps that have plagued his career. Frustrated that the Clips own the third worst record in the NBA, Randolph elbowed back-up Suns forward, Louis Amundson, to the floor. Then Randolph proceeded to punch him in the face after Amundson got right back up.

Randolph, who is a 6'9" 260lb beast known for banging down low with the biggest and best big men of the NBA, decided to take his frustrations out on the 225lb lankster out of UNLV. Can someone say mismatch? All joking aside, Amundson makes the Birdman, Chris Andersen, look like an all-American specimen of an athlete. The result, nothin'!

Come on, Zach. You had a free shot at someone 35lbs lighter than you. He was defenseless and not expecting anything from you. Plus, none of his teammates were even close to being able to back him up. All you could do is make him stumble and look back at you like you just asked him out on a date. Look at you. Now look at him. Now look back at yourself. Louis is more often mistaken for a taller Zac Efron than he is an actual NBA caliber athlete. You knocked him down, he stood up, faced you, took your best shot, and he just looked perplexed as to whether that was supposed to be a punch or a love tap. I, at the very least, want to see some indication of contact.