The Winter Blues, Solved

Every year after football season ends, the sports world dives into a deep depression. Fans and the media yearn for something, or someone, to fill this void. Instead of fixating on the muscle of American sports, we are forced to watch the intriguing highlights from every meaningless regular season NBA game, including the unnecessary 7 OT games which the lottery-bound Charlotte Bobcats have made us endure. This happens every year.

Thankfully there's a true sports network, and it understands that this winter lull, while not as long, is just as painful as the two and a half summer months between the NBA playoffs and Labor Day Weekend. After watching the ratings plummet year after year, here's how the conversation between ESPN President George Bodenheimer and his Development Team went down:

Bodenheimer: "We really need something for our audience to follow during the next month or so."
Development Team: "What if we get more access to the combine and over analyze every offensive linemen who won't get drafted?"
Bode-man: "That's what the NFL Network is for. Something more interactive..."
DT: "Oh, then why don't we just do the same thing we do during baseball season?"
Heime-dawg: "Ooo, states. I love states. Lots of states?"
DT: "We don't have that much time. We could just do a few."
Heimy: "Damn. Well, President stuff is hot right now. Think about incorporating that somehow."
DT: "Hmm...Wait! We have a problem. Now that Kenny Mayne has his own thing going on, we'll need a newbie to pull this off."
Bon-Bon: "Word. Work on this president-state collabo for now. Let me worry about who's going to do it."
DT: "Who could you possibly know that would want to commit career suicide with this half-assed project?"
Bo-Diddly: "I won Rick Reilly's wedding ring at Pimlico a couple years ago. He hates Smarty Jones, and he really wants that ring back."