Daily Zoot - 3/25/09

The Daily Zoot is all the news you needed to know yesterday, soon

-Late last week Alexander Ovechkin of the Washington Capitols scored his 50th goal of the season. 50 is about twice as many goals as I thought any team scored over the course of the season, so kudos to Alex. But not everyone in the NHL Camp is thrilled with Ovie. They're not upset about the goals (people watched it on tv, believe me they're thrilled). They're upset about the way he celebrated after scoring that goal. In case you missed it, Ovechkin put his stick on the ground and fanned it as if it were on fire, no big deal right? Its tame, like something Ocho Cinco would use to celebrate a successful touchdown dance. But people across the sport have spoken out against it including Don Cherry, a hockey analyst/eccentric chocolate factory owner from Canada. Does the NHL not remember that they didn't have a season a couple years ago because no one felt Hockey was exciting enough? Now they are trying to put the kibosh on one of their most exciting talents. Come on Hockey, you're trying to sell drought to the thirsty, don't turn down a glass of water. 

-Is it possible that the evil in Raiders Owner Al Davis spreads to those he comes in contact with? When former coach Lane Kiffin arrived in Oakland he did so with an excellent reputation as a person and a coach that he got while at USC, one of the nations best programs. It took Davis under 2 years to go Keith Moon in the hotel room of Lane Kiffin's soul. Kiffin has since been hired as the Head Coach at the University of Tennessee. Within four months he's already a bigger enemy to the rest of the SEC than black coaching candidates (I said it). He started out by claiming Florida Head Coach Urban Meyer had made recruiting violations when it turns out he hadn't. Let's ignore for a second that the claims were untrue and this is libel (I've got no problem with libel; huge fan). But if you're going to commit libel (and again I encourage it) you don't do it against the Gators. Florida has won two of the last three National Championships, while Tennessee football has been outshined on their own campus by women's basketball (which is terrible, believe me). Now, Florida has plastered the walls of their practice facilities, not with a UT logo, not with a player in uniform, but with a quote and pictures of Lane Kiffin's face. His Face! David didn't call Goliath a bitch before they fought, and that seemed to work out for him. Lane seems to be going the other way with it. 

-This is a pretty bizarre story, and I'm so glad that it is loosely tied to sports so I can talk about it. Earlier this week a woman posing as an immigration official kidnapped a baby. She approached the mother in a clinic, told her that the whole family was going to get deported, but that she could help the baby if she took her. First of all, help her with what exactly? Is she going to set up the baby with an apartment when the rest of the family leaves? I would assume the mother would want to take the 2-month-old with her, but you know what happens when you assume. The mother obliged (why wouldn't she?) and basically buckled her baby into the child-seat of the kidnapper's car. Back at home, during a commercial in her stories, the mother thought to herself, "Gee, I don't think I ever saw any credentials, and I don't think government officials drive 1981 Honda Civics with leopard print seats. That's Odd." When she found herself not being deported later that afternoon she started to become really suspicious. She called it in, and the cops were able to find the baby and the woman who had posed as "Janet" to abduct it. The happy ending is that the child is back home and safe; at least until the next time she's under only her mother's supervision. The main suspect is the wife of Pittsburgh Pirates prospect, Jose Tabata. Not a name you need to know, not even a team you need to know, I just needed a reason to talk about it, so thanks Jose for marrying a crazy bitch.